At 4AM this morning, as I stood in line bleary-eyed, waiting for a cancelled flight and reading a sobering but beautiful collection of tiny Vonnegut essays, one piece, Requiem, struck a chord with me. An excerpt:

"The crucified planet Earth,
should it find a voice
and a sense of irony,
might now well say
of our abuse of it,
'Forgive them Father,
They know not what they do.'

The irony would be
that we know what
we are doing."

Now, as I ride the train through the hushed and snow-covered Adirondacks, making my way home on the shortest day of the year, this is on my mind as I reflect on the past weeks in Poland:

Disappointment, inspiration; hope and fear.

These four emotions riffed off each other throughout the conference for me: disappointment blindsiding hope, inspiration fueled by fear.

Somehow, even when I knew that Minister Prentice would never make a dramatic about-face in the plenary and declare progressive emissions targets for Canada, when I understood that the environment was far from Minister Renner's top priority, when I had heard diplomat after diplomat explain that Poznan was just a checkpoint, a formality, on the way to Copenhagen, I still felt that collapsing feeling inside me every time I heard the disharmony between the words of these world "leaders" and the urgency of the situation at hand.

The disheartening lack of commitment and leadership shown by Annex I countries, with Canada playing lead laggard fiddle, has helped to set the tone for negotiations over the year ahead, and it sounds like a discordant one. As the CMP was closing during the wee hours of the morning Friday night, an Indian negotiator said bitterly, after echoing many countries' disappointment over adaptation funding developments at the conference, "I think this shows us what we can expect for Copenhagen."

I desperately hope that it doesn't.

It cannot!

It must not.

We must ensure that 2009 brings an international climate agreement that will not allow for the melting of the Arctic sea ice sheet, entire nations being submerged, the displacement of millions of people, or the acceptance and perpetuation of the injustices behind the disproportionate distribution of the disastrous effects of climate change! And the world will not stand idly by while it happens - the most inspiring part of the conference was seeing how people from all over the globe and from all walks of life are doing everything they can to fight against climate change and fight for political climate action. The amazing team of young people that I had the honour of working with over the past two weeks has been so inspiring, and this inspiration, combined with fear, fills me with energy (kind of like in the dreams where you're about to die) to make sure that inspiration, justice, and hope are the notes that ring true through what is sure to be another emotional cacophony next year in Copenhagen. We know what we should be doing. Let's make sure there are enough of us.

The jet-lag is slowly wearing off, and life is gradually settling back to normal here at home, but I can't shake this sense of urgency. There is so much that needs to happen between now and Copenhagen in December 2009.

The outcome of the Poznan conference means we are far from the goals that had been set out for this point on the road to a new climate change agreement. There was very little progress from last year’s Bali conference. I cannot comprehend why the world’s wealthiest nations are so selfishly concerned about money and power that they are putting our planet and its citizens at such inordinate risk.

Thankfully we have 3 billion youth around the world to rally the troops. You, me, our friends and family, their children and grandchildren, will all be targeted by this year’s International Youth Delegation to help spread the message that survival is not negotiable, and we need to have a new agreement text in place by Copenhagen in order to ensure the safety and survival of the world’s peoples. Talk to your politicians, your mayors and councilors, your parents, your bosses, and your friends. Spread the message far and wide – there is no second chance, and as it stands now, we don’t have a back-up planet to move to if we really screw up.

During the final days of the conference, 15 youth were selected to present a speech at a ministerial luncheon. The speech below conveys our request more clearly than I ever could:


Look at your youth.
We are half of the world's population - three billion strong.

We stand together to say to those true leaders that have been driving forward the global solution - we support you and we will help you, you will be those leaders that history will remember.

To those that are waiting to take action or are standing still - history will forget you.

And to those who are actively holding us back, history will denounce you.

We want to believe in this process - but your actions, or rather inactions, are making it nearly impossible. But know this, young people are organized, we are building movements that transcend the boundaries that you fail to overcome.

We stand united with small islands states, with less developed nations, with indigenous peoples - with every underrepresented group. They have a right to survival. We will not accept failure.

Look at your youth.
Are we not your own children?

Why will you not hear our voice, even when we stand in front of you?

Are you so blinded not to see the madness of inaction and delay?

How can you expect us to stand by when you create a world not worth living in?

How dare you condemn us to an economy in ruins, a climate in chaos, a broken future?

Look at your youth. Look them in the eye.
Will you be the first leaders to take climate change seriously, or the last not to?

International Youth Climate Movement COP 14 from CYD to Poznan on Vimeo

The International Youth Climate Movement at COP 14 Poznan, Poland. Young Citizens, leaders of tomorrow, take over the United Nations Climate Change Conference in Poznan, Poland, urging the leaders of the world to take action on Climate Change. Photos by Robert van Waarden, Shadia Fayne Wood and David Wargert. For more information please visit http://www.youthclimate.org

When the last gavel came down in Poznan this December, around 2:30 in the morning, it marked the end of my tenth week at the UN climate talks. From Nairobi to Bonn to Bali and back to Bonn I have tried to digest and process the enormity of it all - to understand the klimapolitik that inevitably drives it. Now that I'm finally back in the office, tilting quixotically at the windmills of my inbox, I'll try to tie the experience together. I'll try here, probably over several posts, to put COP14 in a broader context as we enter the home stretch to Copenhagen. Poznan has made me both more afraid and more hopeful than ever that this process will deliver.

First Final Impressions
Ever since I began my involvement with the UNFCCC process I have never doubted that something inspiring would happen in the end, that I would be there at that historic moment when countries finally put aside their national and geopolitical interests and rallied together to protect the world's most vulnerable people and it's most vulnerable generation: us. That moment quickly became pegged as December 2009, when the world would untie at COP-15 in Copenhagen to deliver a broad, ambitious and fair deal to follow after Kyoto in 2012. Now that doubt is looming large.

My faith in this power never flinched in Bali when we stayed up all night, phoning politicians, standing outside closed doors, lobbying delegates to give us a Bali breakthrough. Even when the US and Canada tried to block parts of the deal in the risky showdown of the final plenary I was confident they would not prevail. I am not so confident now.

If anything, Poznan has taught us that greed is still king.

This close to the critical Copenhagen moment it is particularly troubling. There has been very little indication that industrialised countries are willing to do much of anything, particularly to help the developing world. The incessant citation of 'national circumstances' made the conference something like a sad puppy contest, rather than a show of Annex I leadership. Pity us! We can't afford it! Oh, look, I just pooed on the floor. But I'm so cute!!!!! Meanwhile, the nations that are already bearing the brunt of climate change today are being called on to do more and more, without any commitment of finance or support or even a stronger package to help them adapt to the high "costs" our emissions are visiting on them. It's pathetic.

Will this change in time for Copenhagen, as I had always assumed it would? I am absolutely certain it will not, of its own accord. But the strength and energy of the youth at this conference, our show of solidarity will small-island states and least-developed countries, our ability to reach the public in every corner of the world, has given me something new to believe in. "Yes someone can!" seems to be the mantra of uninterested countries. It is our job to tell every government, particularly the heads-in-bottoms wealthy ones like our own, that someone is them. Only then can this process deliver.

Can we "afford" any other outcome?