A wide range of emotions and experiences punctuate the days of this United Nations conference. Yesterday I felt the weight of climate change upon me. I spent much of the day with tears in my eyes, feeling a huge disconnect between the political clamor of the negotiation floor, and the reality of this crisis that we are facing. The IPCC gave a summary of its Fourth Assessment Report, outlining how much global temperatures would increase by 2050 with different levels of atmospheric CO2, and how much it would cut into the global GDP to reach the various levels. Numbers and figures on a screen.

Looking out across the sea of delegates (few, if any, who can expect to be alive in 2050), I was overwhelmed by a mixture of fear and resentment. Here the future of all living things is being negotiated, based primarily on the short-term economic outlook. Every country here is negotiating for its own short-term interests – the only countries actually calling for action now are already drowning, burning, or drought or storm stricken. While it should be no surprise that countries have sent delegations to represent their national interests, it is sobering and frightening to realize that nations would have to be dragged kicking and screaming, or lured with the guarantee of immediate wealth to come to the table with something to offer.

Unfortunately for the sake of these negotiations, the real benefits to action now would be enjoyed in the relatively long-term (i.e. not in the current or coming fiscal year). I wanted to stand up and shout at the room. I wanted to demand that they listen to us who will be inheriting the results of these negotiations, us who will be trying to survive in the mess, us who can't sign on to any commitments on behalf of our countries, but who will take the reigns when it is too late to avert the disaster that is coming upon us.

I realize that we cannot rely upon politicians to make the moves that will avert catastrophic climate change. That is why I am here. It is important for us youth to be here as a conscience for the delegates, but also for our own education. Myself - I am realizing that I do not want to ever be sitting in negotiations such as this, constrained as a delegate. In my life, I will take a role in which I can express my optimism. I will be a voice for hope. I will be a visionary for where we can go from here. I will see and to speak to the opportunities we have to work together. Perhaps most importantly, I will not allow my short-term economic outlook to compromise my commitment to long-term goals.

Thank-you to all of the individuals and organizations that have already demonstrated this commitment by financially supporting myself and other youth so that we could be here.