My parents will testify that I have expensive taste, even before I knew about cost and worth. But I never satisfy that preference - M & D will testify to that, too. There's preference, there's want, there's need. I always want to err on the side of meeting needs vs. desires. Demand requires contextual willingness and ability. Girls don't like shopping with me. I never want anything. I just see it all like a gallery or museum.
Decisions - all about making choices right for you, so that you can continue living. Experiences and learning to think in new ways help you make better decisions to have better experiences. Then you die. To decide:
- Realise what you need and want
- Discover what options are possible
- Evaluate each option including viability and possible consequences
- Decide and stick with it
- Evaluate outcome against original needs/wants and revise strategy for next time
I guess all of it involves true honesty and openness with oneself and others who one may seek advice from.
I thought the quality of a PhD could be measured by a candidate's output and change in thinking/ability to make good judgements. In the word 'progress', I always focussed on the positive change and never time. Large change, short time equals large progress. But for some things, like a PhD, perhaps any measure of progress requires a substantial period of time and it is near the end that you feel any positive change. Is it? Or is the lack of initial positive change a sign that you really should be doing something else? Both DB and LC reckon that it really doesn't matter how much time you put in, you will take whatever time you need. MW says weekends were necessary for her. I don't know what's a good balance for me. Also, "working smarter, not harder" still plays at reducing time/effort while increasing output/positive change. Still, sticking with it is important. Demand affects supply, not the other way around,
listen to my heart, can you hear - it sings
telling me to give you everything...
Come What May - Moulin Rouge Sountrack
What actually got me thinking about effort and decisions in terms of demand and supply was actually seeing all the crazy people buying Christmas stuff. New decorations, gifts, wrapping, just showering themselves and each other with unnecessary things. I like the music, the colours, the families and general well-being that people are exuding. But don't buy me gifts. Or if you must buy me something, ask me what it is. Like, I sort of need/want one tube of white oil paint. I need some shoes to wear to Nuwan's wedding.
Which reminds me, gifts are about the thought, right? That was what the whole drama about LZ's going away present. I'm pretty sure people thought I was an unfeeling bitch for not realising what "gifts" are supposed to mean - they're supposed to represent your thoughts and remind the recipient of the receiver. But I think: a) why represent your thoughts with a secondary? Just show/speak your thoughts directly; b) why force your own memory onto someone? Memories are organic, they cannot be synthesised. People shouldn't fear that they might be forgotten. Is it not how you felt when you were with them that you remember? And would you not think of them sometimes anyway, just as you would often-times rediscover and cherish a part of your own body? Well, there's also c) owning material things is a bit restraining. The fewer things you are obligated to, the more freedom you have. That's why I think experiences are better gifts in general. For example, guitar lessons, pottery class, rollerblading, kayaking, waterbiking (what ARE they called in English?). Speaking of wants, I have yet to touch snow. I'm looking forward to my 12-hr train ride.
On a completely different note, in first year we used to play this game where you add "if you know what I mean" to the end of everything you say, e.g. "I'm off to class... if you know what I mean," or "I'm having toast for breakfast... if you know what I mean." Quite a good way to play off the sick minds of adolescents. I quite enjoyed that game. Anyway, I was thinking about my diet today (I keep feeling dizzy) and I thought,
I need to have more protein in my diet...
... if you know what I mean.
Haha. On that note, I'm off to think about rate constants, quanta and flying. Oh, did you know if you think about things in both discrete and continuous cases, you can make analogies with almost anything? Like, discrete building blocks (e.g. particles) to build a continuum of possibilities and distributions of probabilities and/or discrete building blocks (e.g. photons) really representations of continuous and infinite energies and/or considering discrete units (e.g. human beings) vs. continuous/amorphous units (e.g. society) as does capitalist vs. communist ideas... vs. socialist? Your range of 'sight' (thought?) is determined by discrete numbers/proportions of cones and rods (neurons? genes?)...? I don't know dudes, I gotta go - but I want to discover a new way of considering things. Wouldn't that be cool?
