TIGblogs - oic

Part of today was about gathering my belongings here [lived 1993 - 2003], so that when my parents move out, logistics would be easier.

Looking through my old things, the expected nostalgia was unexpectedly non-intrusive - like the curling smoke of incense - intense, but gentle and most importantly - pain-free, loss-free.

What was more surprising was that I learned something about myself, despite having seen all these items several times before.

(Re)Establishment of Self

I'd always questioned why/how people saw me as different/special in some way. "It must be a mistake," I'd think. One of these differences was 'cleverness' - what, how, when, why...me? Flicking through my bookshelves (yes, plural - to my surprise), I realised they were filled with maths books, school workbooks, textbooks, novels, non-fiction, exercise books - above the school requirements. I'd forgotten how many books I'd read and how I devoured maths problems and exam questions at a pace and volume that was a nuisance to my teachers and their supply of material. And what about my 'perfectionist's touch' on wood-work or 'inventions' and projects...

I'd forgotten all of that. How did I do it without any prompting from my parents or teachers? I barely remember doing it all. Where did my own pressure and motivation come from?

I remember feeling content and engaged - or rather, the absence of not feeling discontent or bored - I didn't really understand those concepts, didn't know any better or worse. I would owe this to my... teachers? =)

Tidbit Findings

Notebook I'd called "Definitions" and the first entry is "Sanguine".

"An Anthropologist on Mars" Oliver Sacks. Withdrawn Wellington City Libraries.

Sheets and sheets of short stories, poems and other creative writing I'd completed for school, but were really at least 3x more than the requirement. I didn't realise I wrote poetry when I was 8 or 9?... sadly, I haven't much improved!!!

A 3-volumed stamp collection.

Bags of cross-stitching, knitting and other crafts.

Screeds of drawings, paintings and experiments with different media including types of sculpture using anything from clay to wax to metal (mostly copper and iron).

"How to Make Your Own Kinetics" David Wickers and Sharon Finmark. Withdrawn Khandallah School... and lots of wood bits, ball bearings, etc.

A book on the Earth, another on insects, a series on how to do your own magic tricks.

In 1999, a Hillary Commission study, showing my score, then compared to NZ stats in round brackets:

height: 150 cm (low) [haha - hasn't changed]
body mass: 38 kg (low) [holy crap, I was 38?]
catch: 18 caught (high)
vertical jump: 42 cm (high) [haha - already a bouncer!]
shuttle run: 11/4 (high) [woot - I remember being proud of that]

And almost all of these things were obtained from school, whether it was part of a school project or I (somehow) obtained discarded items. Wow. Lucky. Resourceful? Lucky.

Further Wondering

I am always trying to make sure I stay true to myself and clearly my childhood painted a very clear picture of who I was and indeed, who I am. For me to realise and accept thing that is myself has perhaps taken longer than developing it. I wonder if this proportion is still true.

Over the past month, small revelations have been building up and I feel as if I am close to something big. What will it be? I will eagerly wait. =)

Image Sources : www.khandallah.school.nz, www.raroa.school.nz

Technorati Tags : Cherrieland, Childhood, Learning, Life, Memories, School

From cherrieland.blogspot.com