I'm scared.

The anxiety has been steadily climbing since I got here and I hadn't even realised until now. It has actually got to a point that my stomach feels sick and I am constantly nervous:

And it's all superfluous because I know I'm here to learn and I know that these people are here to help me learn - but - I keep feeling like I have to prove something.

And that's all fine because it shows I care - but - my fear has pushed me to the edge, staring down at dread, disengagement and potentially, apathy.

And that's the scariest part of all.